Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Review: Starting Over Again (with spoilers)

So I've finally watched Starting Over Again after waiting for ages since the cinemas are always fully booked since Valentine's Day. People have been posting a lot about it on Facebook and I have to admit, it really intrigued me. They even said that this was better than One More Chance so I definitely have to see it and judge it myself. I've seen the trailer and I find it quite interesting so I planned to watch it on Valentine's Day but to no avail. Even the last full shows have zero-ed the cinema seats. So I was a bit tad excited to get seats tonight although we were seated on the far right row of the cinema. Bummer but it was alright.

While watching the movie, I struggled. It's cos I have high expectations from this movie, I thought I can fit into someone else's character. But I was wrong, I was able to relate to both Ginny and Patty. When a character is someone I can relate to, I immerse myself into that character to feel her emotions, thus, the sobbing while I'm on my seat. With Starting Over Again, it was a push and pull of my emotions because I felt Ginny's desperation but at the same time I am feeling Patty's strength. But at the end of the movie, I've come to terms with the fact that I am a Patty. Needless to say, I was once a Ginny and just like her, I've hated myself at some point in my life and needed a closure. But all I really needed was acceptance and to forgive myself. It was difficult. It took years. But after constant praying and trying to focus myself to something positive, I've learned that I have finally moved on.

While I was dragged by Ginny's character (I hated her actually), it was a relief that I can relate to Patty because I find her strength and wisdom very admirable. She was calm, mature and understanding. She accepted the broken Marco for who he really is  and supported him of his dreams and passion. My favourite line of hers was "My love for you is bigger than your failures...", after she found out that Marco slept with his ex, Ginny.  Damn! It takes a real strong woman to say that but what she has is a selfless love and she can conquer anything.

So what have I learned from this movie?

1. In love, there is no fear. For Ginny, she was a coward. She got scared that Marco is slowly turning like her father who is a loser. For Patty, Ginny was a threat but she completely trusts Marco. She loves him and she's not giving up on them. She was fearless and her feistiness proved otherwise of Ginny's assumptions.

2. Everyone thrives on selfless love. Whether we are the giver or the recipient of this love, it  must be the kind that seeks for the benefits of others at the expense of self. For Ginny, it was a selfish kind of love. She only thinks of redeeming herself from the past while Patty loves Marco completely despite of his weaknesses. We are all at some point broken and all we need is understanding and acceptance and the only way for us to carry on with our lives is to be loved by other people. And in as much love as we need to be able move on is also the amount of love we need to share to our significant other in order for them to grow as well. Mutual growth is essential in a relationship.

3. Past is past. We can never bring back the past. We may have second chances but it will never be a continuation of the past. It is in second chances that we start all over again but it will never be the same from the past. But then again, we may also never have a second chance so while you have something good going on right now, make the most out of it.

4. Never assume of someone else's feelings. This is why I hated Ginny's character because she hijacked Patty's feelings by assuming that Marco would want her back. Even though what they had before was truly magical, she forgot the fact that she completely hurt Marco and ruined him. She was left at the assumption that Marco still has strong feelings for her thanks to that stupid letterlater.com. Just because her strong feelings for Marco remained after 4 years, she forgot that that length of time was good enough for Marco to move on and fall in love with someone else. Plus, she completely underestimated Patty.

5. Give your all when you love. You only have one chance. Ginny got scared and forgot that she loves Marco too. But it was too late when she left for Barcelona to pursue her dreams and to run away from her fears. Often times, when problem arises in our relationships, we tend to give up. We tend to forget why we love the other person. We give up without even asking ourselves "have we given our all?" Yes we do get tired but until the other person is non responsive to our efforts, we have to constantly give what we can truly give.

6. Treasure what we have, hold them and nourish them. Especially if it's love. Again, we might only get to have one chance to let it grow in our hands so we keep it for as long as we can. Never let it slip away because the odds of that special kind of love ending up in someone else's heart can kill us.

7. We all move on. There is just one way to go and that is to move forward. Whether we choose to rekindle our past relationship and start all over again or we let go of our past to find ourselves again, it is a brave passage of moving on. The important thing is never linger on something that you have from the past that you no longer have on your hands. It might be worth going back to start anew or choose to leave the hurt behind, never look back, find peace within yourself and learn to love again.

I am quite happy with the ending. Ginny deserves the closure and Patty deserves Marco. I'm happy because I've realized that I was once a mess (Ginny) but eventually became a Patty. I think that the whole hurt and pain I've experienced before had contributed to what I have become today - someone who is capable of loving unconditionally and accepts the past and failures of my partner and even loving him more for his flaws and imperfection. With the right amount of trust, love and respect and with even an allowance of mistakes, I'd say I love fearlessly (thanks, Patty).

So, are there really second chances? With me comparing this movie to One More Chance, I can say that each of these movies have different stories and target of emotions. I was able to relate more on One More Chance. I admit, until now I still sob whenever I watch it. So, second chances? Both stories taught us that there are never really second chances with that one love. And yet you can never unlove. You love that one person once, you get hurt, you are broken. Your scars are healing but you can never go back. The only chance you could get is to find peace within yourself, forgive and start to love again.